I walked along it, and each step left me a little more breathless and tired. It was as if each step was draining my strength. If I concentrated hard enough, I could actually feel it ebb away as I plodded along.
Something inside me told me that I was going the wrong way. I brushed it off and kept on going, telling myself that nothing was wrong and that I wasn’t lost. How could I have been? Along the way, I had encountered several friends. Laughing and smiling Christians, all happy and full of faith. And each time, I just smiled and laughed with them, going to church, going through the motions. Everything was fine.
I never told them of that small feeling inside. That tiny voice that nagged at me. “Something’s wrong…”
“No, there isn’t,” I kept saying.
I kept walking. For some reason, it never really occurred to me how strange it was that my friends were walking the other way. I just shrugged it off like I did the feeling. But as I continued walking, something did occur to me-- The voice had gotten louder. Stronger. Still warning, yet almost pleading.
“Something is wrong.”
So I stopped. I looked around. And everything wasn’t fine.
I was far away. My friends were in the distance, all happy and laughing in their fellowship. They waved at me, and I waved back. Some looked concerned at how far away I was, but I didn’t let on that I was troubled so they let it go. I would’ve called to them to help me get back, but I had too much pride. I didn’t think I needed the help.
“God?” I called.
There was no answer. Strange, I thought. I called more, and I didn’t hear any reply. I got irritated and called louder. When silence greeted me, I realized something. I had left Him and had slowly walked away. And there I was, far off in the distance.
I turned toward the horizon and shouted, asking God why He had let me leave.
“God! How could You let this happen, God? How?? Why is this happening to me? Why do I feel so alone and depressed? Why don’t I feel You near me? Why didn’t You warn me?”
“I did,” said the small voice.
I was silent for a while. Then I asked, “Now what do I do, God? I’m lost… I’m far away! How do I get back? Who’s going to guide me? How do I find You now that I’ve walked away?”
“The one thing I ask of the Lord, the thing I seek most, is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lords perfections and meditating in His temple.”
- Psalm 27:4